やたらと青い海が綺麗で、薬品臭い部屋と相反して吐きそうになった。込み上げてくる涙が何の涙か分からなくて、随分小さくなったなぁと頭の外でぼんやり思った。
独りで生活してたって、寂しい晩年だと考えるけど遣る瀬無さが付き纏う。私と同じような透けた瞳を見ながら言った元気でねって台詞が多分さよならの代わりなんだろう。次逢うとしたら葬式だろうから。
好きだったからこそ幻滅してしまって連絡を断った云年、自分の選択に間違いは無かったとは思うけどなんだかな。
私の事を覚えてなくて良かったと思う反面悲しくて、兄の事は覚えてたのに私の事は忘れたんだね。なんでだろうね。
最後だから逢いたくなかった、思い出は美化されるのは分かってるけど綺麗な記憶のままで終わらせたかった。
本当に、逢いたくなかったよ。お父さん。ごめんなさい。
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